Sat, 7th April – Hawaiian Blessing

This island is inhabited with spiritual people. One lady reminded me that whatever you take from the land should be returned to the ocean. Her name was Aunty Netty, and despite her title she was not my aunty. It was clearly a wonderful term of endearment to a lovely lady whose lineage granted her a connection to certain rights on the land and to spiritual matters. She offered a prayer to the gods, next to a sacred pool that was frequented by turtles, and generally prohibited to the public. Her standing on the island required no official license nor paper to register what she was allowed to do. She is known as a Kahu. Aunty Netty used words in Hawaiian and later in English to permeate the sea water she had earlier collected. This sea water was now filled with all this positive and natural energy. She whispered some phrases to me, while our foreheads lightly connected in preparation for the blessing. As she gave me the blessing, she dipped a couple of plant leaves into the bowl and used this to transfer the goodness onto my arms, legs, heart, body and soul. This was a very special day. I’m staying here forever and work can go get stuffed! A real shame that I’m the boss. Crap!

Tues, 4th April – Flying to Hawaii

Things sometimes fall into place in hindsight, and this was quite evident as I sat on a flight from Sydney to Honolulu. Grabbing a paper tissue and a childs texta, I applied some simple calculus and some quantum physics (according to the Gospel of Google), and I discovered that I had experienced time travel. I left Sydney on Tuesday 9:30pm and arrived in Hawaii on the same Tuesday but at 11am. Whoohoo, I get to enjoy Tuesday again. If only I could go back a couple of decades so I could re-adjust my lifestyle and avoid or prepare for this journey which I’m undertaking. But what would I change? No one seems to know how Prostate Cancer is acquired. Did someone sneeze on me while travelling on a train late one night from Central? In which case, I would avoid trains … and wear long neck skivvies for the rest of my days. I would probably still be single today because I would have chosen an orange one. If you get a chance, please watch ‘A Little Bit of Heaven’, with Kate Hudson (new release).

Cancer Cures

We are surrounded by a protective layer of film, which bounces off negative vibes, rays and laser beams each day. Most people are oblivious to this and naturally go through their day to day activities allowing this natural phenomenon do what it’s suppose to do.

We suck in the compliments, absorb the positive feedback and conversely cringe at any criticism or associations with bad experiences or pain.

I have my own cocoon, and I have worked hard at constructing this protective shell delving back on all the good things that would keep me focused on keeping my head above water. This has been a struggling and difficult project over the past 6 to 8 months. Everyone tells me that is is a good plan for curbing the cancer.

In fact, almost everyone have their tales of cancer curing remedies, which they have either read or heard about. The cocoon is the one I best relate to, the frog legs and toad eyes will have to wait until these become commercially available.

Maintaining a positive outlook requires a lot of skill, and I don’t have the time to attain ‘Gandhi’ nor ‘Dalai Lama’ status before I’m set off on a burning Viking ship.

Incidentally, I found this cool site http://www.sjolander.com/viking/plans/
And was wondering if anyone can read ‘Viking’, I just don’t want to finish the boat with a stray wooden peg or two when I finish?

I also need some good quality straw and a match.

Naked Nerdy Calendar

The mention of the Calendar a couple of days ago has taken a life of it’s own evolving from the innocent puppy idea into a giganormous mammoth. The most touching thing to come from all this banter was that the proceeds (if any) would go towards Cancer Research. It was also declared that a signature on my own picture should create a frenzy and be good for sales. By the way does anyone know where I can borrow a firemans’ hat, pants, some cool stick-on tattoos and an axe, don’t worry about the top. Before I forget, it was pointed out in an earlier post that my reference to the long gone days of a digital examination to detect Prostate Cancer does not involve fingers (plural), … I meant ‘finger’, as in singular, preferably with trimmed nails and gloved and “NO”, there was no hidden meaning nor was I boasting about anything. I’ll shortly be on my way to a Psychiatrist, it’s like paying for a friend who’ll listen to you rattle on and on about anything. Every now and then they’ll interject and apply some well versed words to steer your thought processes into more peaceful waters. Don’t knock it (like I use to), because when things go crazy upstairs you’ll need one of these persons to chew some straw with … and I love straw. Black is my favourite colour today. Not to describe my mood or anything dark, but all the other light that illuminates around it appears brighter and I’m enjoying this. Adios potato’s

Transformer …

In eight months I have lost 20 kilo’s and around 12cm’s off the belt-line. My height remains the same. The downside to all this is the copuous amount of money I’ve spent on clothes to accommodate the new measurements thinking I was stabilising at the new sizes. The local charity bins are thankful. I think I’ve now reached a point where things have plateaued. Thank goodness, otherwise I would have had another medical condition to contend with, “anorexia”. I’m now just waiting for some punk to approach me and try it on in a dark alley, … because with my newfound photographic memory I’ll be able to provide an accurate description of the offender for my mates to hunt down. I’ve also been attending the local gym up the road in a bid to tone this new body, and it’s looking good. At least thats what the mirror says. I wonder if I can publish my own calendar now? Do I provocatively swing the computer mouse around? Do I position the keyboard so it suggestively arouses the female readers? The options are endless. It’s been a good day today particularly following the news yesterday of my blood tests. If I can bottle this sensation and take a whiff of it another day, I would. I also received one very thoughtful text today from someone who said that my rantings had increased their awareness about Prostate Cancer. It would be remiss of me not to mention to the male readers, that a simple blood test is all it takes. The doctors don’t stick their fingers up your bum these days, … although I did succumb to this when my doctor asked if I was alright with it. Needless to say my answer was “yes”. My doctor was a woman.