Daves’ Daring Diet (3D) for Cancer

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October 30, 2013

20131030-195151.jpgLet’s get the formalities out of the way first, … The information contained on this page is for information purposes only, and may not apply to your situation. I provide no warranty about the content nor make any claims that it will cure anything. Information provided is subjective. If you suffer diarrhoea then drink lots of fluids, use soft rectum wipes, or water soaked anal tissues. If you break out in a rash, then scratch like crazy. Awesome, that felt so official and important like, I deserve a pay rise! I hope no one takes offence at what I’m writing, I sort of think the closest comparison I can make to this, is like when comedians make inappropriate jokes about their ethnic kinship and get away with it … except … I guess, I’m not a comedian, and I’m definitely not making jokes about cancer. Let me see, I remember eating mostly fruit, fish, vegetables, nuts and rice. Rarely, did my oesophagus get to slither anything carved off an animal. In fact, I unknowingly became a vegetarian. Eating fruit, fish and rice didn’t make me an Asian, but I sure adapted to this new tasty culinary choice easily. A single handful of mix of nuts was always included in my daily quota. I did have some fruits I preferred, and these I did NOT eat in moderation at all. In fact, I gorged these at every opportunity, to the extent that my visits to the supermarket comprised of regularly checking the prices and buying these in bulk when they were cheap. These were primarily blueberries, blackberries and pomegranate fruits. Pomegranate are such hard work, and there are easier ways to acquire the red juicy treasure nodules from within the tough membrane. You can YouTube it, … and while you’re there, Google the health benefits of Pomegranite, you’ll be surprised with the wealth of information on these expensive buggers (if you have to google the word ‘bugger’, please be assured I am not referring to ‘sodomite’, which is not edible like ‘vegemite’ and ‘marmite’) . I did have a lot of other fruits, I ate Kiwifruit with the skin left on. Don’t worry, your back end passage is unaffected by the furry skin, I believe the gurgling acids in your tummy make it all mushy and a lot more mobile. I ate all types of fruit, and made every attempt to ensure a rainbow of colours on the palatte would tantalise my palate. Yellow peaches, red watermelon, green apples, red apples, yellow corn, orange oranges, red carrots, purple beetroots (convenient in a can) and plenty, plenty and plenty of blueberries, blackberries and pomegranate. Word of warning with the excess consumption of beetroot, is that your front and rear discharges will be a tad reddish. In relation to my liquid intake, this was either normal or bottled mineral water, and tons of pomegranate juice. The latter should taste slightly tart which is its natural flavour. Don’t succumb to the blends, like 5% pomegranate and the rest made up of apple juice, read the labels. Make sure there are no additives, not sweetened and contains no preservatives, it must be in its original raw virgin squeezed state. If bottled Pomegranate juice is hard to come by, throw about 12 of these into a flax woven basket, add a python snake, … Secure the lid, and I couldn’t emphasize this advice enough but make sure the lid is definitely secure. Watch all the pomegranate juice pour out the bottom and sides of the basket! Cripes, must go and pick up the kids for school … part 2 tomorrow.

9 Responses

  1. Mel , James and Rob says:

    LOL !!! How was Ben birthday did call /facebook and send gift just want to make sure he got my messages and said gift !!! 🙂 Glad all is well in your world 🙂

  2. All is going well, thank you for asking. Still having a couple of life challenges, but hey, I’m in a better frame of mind and spirit to cope with them these days. My recent eBay Kryptonite suit purchase was a bargain, but I’m still miffed that the seller failed to mention that it was invisible. I think I’m wearing it properly this time?

    I’ll ask Ben if he received your gift, dearly hope it’s not the same Kryptonite Suit that I got. I’m about to lodge a complaint.

  3. Roy Potaha says:

    I dont think its a kryptonite suit dude/ It looks like a condom suit 🙂 good to see your in good spirits ma bruh 🙂

  4. Margie says:

    I love your positive attitude, and knowing God is in control makes it better

  5. Mars says:

    you must be really trim now ….nice one…
    hehehe …Willis won’t know what your comment about graffiti means …

  6. Hey you’re asking for an old fashioned Niuean beating. I’ll get Sumo to dish it out to you.

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