Transformer …

Written by  in category 
March 28, 2012
In eight months I have lost 20 kilo’s and around 12cm’s off the belt-line. My height remains the same. The downside to all this is the copuous amount of money I’ve spent on clothes to accommodate the new measurements thinking I was stabilising at the new sizes. The local charity bins are thankful. I think I’ve now reached a point where things have plateaued. Thank goodness, otherwise I would have had another medical condition to contend with, “anorexia”. I’m now just waiting for some punk to approach me and try it on in a dark alley, … because with my newfound photographic memory I’ll be able to provide an accurate description of the offender for my mates to hunt down. I’ve also been attending the local gym up the road in a bid to tone this new body, and it’s looking good. At least thats what the mirror says. I wonder if I can publish my own calendar now? Do I provocatively swing the computer mouse around? Do I position the keyboard so it suggestively arouses the female readers? The options are endless. It’s been a good day today particularly following the news yesterday of my blood tests. If I can bottle this sensation and take a whiff of it another day, I would. I also received one very thoughtful text today from someone who said that my rantings had increased their awareness about Prostate Cancer. It would be remiss of me not to mention to the male readers, that a simple blood test is all it takes. The doctors don’t stick their fingers up your bum these days, … although I did succumb to this when my doctor asked if I was alright with it. Needless to say my answer was “yes”. My doctor was a woman.

3 Responses

  1. Jen says:

    A Calendar what a fantastic idea.. You never know they might make a movie from it one day.. it would be a cross between “full monty” / “calendar girls” 🙂

    What would the theme be that you would carry through it.. I think calendar girls was a sunflower??? May be you could have a tool bet or a rugby ball.. I can see the shot a black and white shot of you swinging the mouse (computer mouse. no animals would be harmed in the making of this calendar) provocatively and a sepia toned or coloured tool belt or rugby ball in the background.

    Honestly, I would buy it!!! Especially if all proceeds went to Cancer research.. If you need any help getting it off the ground.. I’m up for the challenge and I already have 6 ladies who would purchased a signed calendar (they’ll might pay more if you sign it) 😛

    • Jen says:

      Note to self.. do not read Dave’s blog during your lunch break.. Especially if he brings up topics of semi naked calendar men… Do you know how hard it is to get back into my excel spreasheet..

  2. Roy Potaha says:

    Hey that’s cool Bro, but don’t toss them clothes away!! remember your younger brother can fit them..hahahahahahahaha love you

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