Turning 50 has attracted a lot of pats on my back followed up with ‘it’s all downhill from here’ jibes. In fact, going downhill sounds fun, fast and requires a lot less effort than the journey getting to the top in the first place. Going uphill requires effort, strength and endurance, none of the qualities which I’m keen to exert any of my precious energy on. I guess going downhill is an acknowledgement that I’ve finally reached the top of the mountain, enjoyed the rest, and will now either glide, base jump, parachute down to the waiting paparazzi to congratulate me on this feat. Love it. Just watched a documentary showing the weirdest talents of people like the guy who is able to suck a strand of spaghetti into his mouth and out his nostril. And another person who can drink milk and can ooze it out of his tear ducts. How the hang did these people discover these things … theres just no accidental reason why someone should suddenly stumble across these things, it would require practise and perseverance to perfect. On that note, let me see if I can blow snot out of my ears?